


My Coma

by cdawn1022



Category: Scrubs
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdawn1022/pseuds/cdawn1022
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>JD takes a tumble and Dr. Cox is a little slow to respond. When JD wakes up, Perry is shocked to learn he remembers nothing of the past five years; he thinks he's still an intern. He tries to nurse JD back to health, and restore his memories of their two years together. Established JDox.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello world! This is my first Scrubs fic, I just adore JDox. Story may later feature deliciously unrealistic amnesia. Just a warning.

I should've known something was wrong when the janitor came in carrying Newbie over his shoulder, but I hardly noticed. I mean, it's not exactly rare for him to get a little beat up because of something the janitor did. If I'd looked a little closer, noticed JD wasn't kicking or screaming or, well, doing anything but bleeding, if I hadn't gone right back to my paperwork after directing the janitor to an empty room on the other side of the hallway, if I'd gauged the speed at which the man was going compared to his usual saunter, if I'd seen right away that the guy's face looked concerned and guilty instead of smug… maybe I could've done something. Maybe.

 

The janitor came out of the room, his hands at his sides, and stopped in front of me. He watched Carla and a few others rush across the hall and then stared at me confusedly.

 

"Don't you have a floor to clean?" I growled as I closed the folder I was working in. My day so far had already been a sorry excuse for six hours on Earth, and now I'd have to nurse Newbie back to health. In past experience, this involved copious amounts of chicken noodle soup and Gilmore Girls. To make matters worse, I was beginning to hear serious, somewhat frantic voices and beeping from what sounded like a few rooms down. I straightened my stethoscope and turned around to see who was in need of my expertise, only to find a bunch of interns gathered behind me, looking terrified. Newbie's interns. I glanced behind me. The janitor was gone.

 

"What?" I snapped at the herd. One of them pushed Keith out of the crowd and he stumbled a few feet forward.

 

"A-aren't you going to see Dr. Dorian? S-sir?" he stuttered. My eyes traveled slowly to the source of the increasing noise, and the pieces clicked into place.  
Making a strongly-worded mental note to take care of the janitor when Newbie was better (because of course he'll get better he's going to be fine just fine), I ran through the door only to freeze moments later. I saw everything in the room separately, one at a time, somehow making sense of the chaos in the room.

 

One. Blood all over him. His head, his arms, everywhere.

 

Two. Laverne pushing a panicked Carla out of the way because she was crying too much to do anything.

 

Three. A few interns I didn't recognize, with that familiar "I'm nervous as hell but I don't have time for that" face.

 

Four. A strangely level-headed Barbie restarting JD's heart.

 

And for the first time since my internship, I couldn't move.

 

I watched weakly as the heart monitor readings went back up to normal - well, maybe not normal, but alive. Barbie took a deep breath and swallowed, seeing me in the room for the first time.

 

"Dr. Cox," she breathed. "You're here. He's-he's okay. I have to go."

 

She brushed past me, shrugging Keith off when he met her at the door. Laverne scribbled something on a chart and handed it to me. I took it robotically, trying like hell to take my eyes off Carla sniffling and bandaging his head. She stared up at me.

 

"Turk's in surgery. He'll be here soon." I tore my gaze from JD and nodded slowly at Carla. "It's, uh, still sketchy," she whispered, obviously biting back a sob. Any other time I would have moved to at least try to comfort her, but my brain was on autopilot; I sunk into the chair beside Newbie's bed. Carla glanced worriedly at Laverne, and Laverne looked as worried as I think it was possible for her to look. I took a deep breath and buried my head into the mattress when they left.

 

"Newbie," I muttered. "There's a lot of theory out there, that people can hear things in their subconscious when they're knocked out. You know very well I think it's bullshit, but I guess I'll give it a shot. If you wake up, I swear to God I'll buy you a Gilmore Girls box set. The entire goddamn series. I'll get you a dog, a real dog, because Gandhi took Rowdy back and for some reason you were extre-he-hemely attatched to it. Damn it, I'll let you call me your boyfriend in public. Just don't you dare die on me, kid."


	2. Chapter2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY I am so sorry! Work and the holidays just drove my creative juices insane and I couldn’t make myself write. I promise I’ll update more regularly. As an apology, this chapter is… I believe almost three times longer, if I’m not mistaken. As always, constructive criticism is more than welcome.

“Hey, princess.”

Gandhi shot me a glare as I walked into the hospital room with fresh flowers. “Why do you insist on calling him girls’ names after almost two years together?” he grumbled.

“Wasn’t talking to Newbie, Miss Touchy,” I smirked. I threw the old wilted flowers in the trash and arranged the new ones in a way I knew JD would like. As if perfectly arranged roses could yank him out of unconsciousness, I snorted quietly. Only three days without his incessant babble and apparently my brain was covering the shortage of useless daydreams. I moved to the foot of the bed and picked up his chart.

“Could have some memory loss,” I murmured. “Not getting any worse, though. Should be up and irritating us again in no time.” I glanced at the surgeon, who didn’t seem to hear me. “Gandhi,” I snapped. “He’ll be fine.”

He shook his head. “How can you be so sure? He hasn’t moved for three days. What if something’s wrong with him? He could have amnesia, or nerve damage… how the hell can you stand there like that?” His pager beeped; he nodded at me and left.

Good thing I was off for the day. I sank down into the chair next to JD’s bed, picked up the TV remote, and turned on Days of our Lives. I’d found it to be useful in drowning out Carla and Barbie’s concerned chatter, crap about if I was okay, if Newbie’s coma was killing me from the inside out, yada yada yada. And as if on cue, they wandered in with their arms crossed to destroy my moment of peace.

“Can’t you see I’m spending quality time with my a-boyfriend?” I glared at them, holding up Newbie’s lifeless hand. “Aaand you’ve also interrupted my soap. That’s two strikes, ladies.”

Barbie shrank back slightly and pushed Carla forward. “Sorry, Dr. Cox. We just need to take Bambi in for another CT scan.”

I groaned. “Fine. I’ll just go home, I need to pick up Jack anyway…” Barbie shook her head.

“I called Jordan. She’s keeping him for now. I told her you’d barely slept for four days and she said she didn’t want you dropping him on his head while you were worried about your, uh, lover.”

I gave her the most frightening expression I could muster, one that would have sent her crying to the supply closet in her early years. “Can’t you keep your blonde head out of my… wait, what, four days?”

Carla smiled guiltily. “I know you had a triple shift the day before, Dr. Cox.”

“All right, I’ll go home and put my feet up. Maybe I’ll take a bubble bath, ooh, and a cucumber face mask! I’ve been really meaning to repaint my toenails and catch up on Gilmore Girls anyway, thank you oh-so-much for the opportunity!” I really was not in the mood for trying to wrestle Jack out of Jordan’s claws. That’s why I just went home. Not because I was exhausted. I kissed JD on the forehead before I could stop myself (Good God, the kid really was rubbing off on me) and diverted my gaze from the janitor on the way out. It would be nice to get some real rest…

I woke up on the couch with a half-shaved face and spilled scotch on the coffee table. I groaned and flipped open the ringing cell phone. Not a number I recognized. I was greeted by a shrill voice that sounded terrified.

“Dr. Cox, it’s Elliot, please don’t hang up on me!”

“Barbie, how in the seven hells did you get this number?”

She carried on with her weepy little story as if she didn’t hear. “I mean, I would’ve gotten Turk or Carla to call but Carla’s really busy and Turk’s with JD and they told me to call you, and I didn’t know what to do-”

“Barbie. Get to the point or I come down there and pop that little plastic head off of your doll neck like all the dolls Jordan got for Jack.”

“It’s JD. He woke up. But he has memory loss, really bad. He thinks he’s an intern. The past five years are apparently gone.”

I yanked on my shoes and quickly shaved the other side of my face. “Fine, but is he okay otherwise?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. He wants to see you, of course, but he told me not to tell you. Because, you know, he thinks he’s an intern.”

“Right.” I felt, well, deflated, to use a favorite word of Newbie’s. “Did you tell him anything, about anything?”

“We told him what year it is, a basic summary of what’s happened, and he’s still trying to wrap his head around it. We didn’t want to spring anything else on him.”

I locked the door and got in my Porsche. “Tell him I’m coming… heh, the kid’s an intern. Tell him I’m coming to give him a hug.”

Elliot laughed, said okay, and hung up.

I spent the entire drive to the hospital thinking of the best way to present myself, given the gap between his knowledge and my knowledge and oh God what if he completely flips out or Jesus Christ what if he’s happy and then I’ll know I wasted years dancing around him and ugh what to do what to do. Eventually I decided to be what he wanted. A bit of a hard-ass, but a mentor. And maybe explain things to him later. But nothing could have prepared me for seeing his big eyes looking up at me for the first time in what had to be closer to four days now.

“Dr. Cox, you came!” he exclaimed happily. “I guess I’m an attending, right? Like you!” Gandhi laughed and I shot him a glare for no particular reason. He shut up.

“‘Course I came, kid,” I said in an attempt to sound gruff. Instead, it came out desperate.

Yep, definitely rubbed off on me.

He sat up, looking a little confused, but his grin - God, a part of me thought I’d never see it again - never faltered. It crashed down on me. He was alive. I went in for a reassuring shoulder pat and ended up consuming him in a hug.

“D-Dr. Cox?” he asked, bewildered. I snapped back and pulled a pudding cup and spoon from my jacket pocket.

“I, uh, got you some pudding. Tapioca, right?” I asked awkwardly. Great job with the hard-ass with a heart of gold routine, Perry. Very well-executed.

JD took the pudding and spoon cautiously. “Yeah. Thanks, Dr. Cox.”

Gandhi got up from his chair and clapped my back (Newbie’s eyes bulged at the casual exchange). “I think Vanilla Bear needs some rest. We can talk later. And, uh, you can also ask Dr. Cox any questions you have about your memories.”

I nodded. “Uh, yeah. Would you mind if I sat in here? Probably the only place they won’t ask me to come in to work. Ignore me if you want.”

Taking his nearly-exploding-from-happiness look as a yes, I plopped into the chair and closed my eyes.

“Thank you for coming, Dr. Cox. And for the, uh, hug.” His voice was soft, almost like he was scared I was going to hit him.

I cracked an eyelid. “You’re welcome, princess,” I said, electing to use the same name as I had earlier. “Didn’t you hear me before? Of course I came.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don’t have much to say - just enjoy chapter 3!

Snoring. Who the hell was snoring?

 

Oh. Me.

 

I yawned and stretched my back. Still in the hospital. That chair could not be good for my back. I looked up at JD, who was still sleeping. Not mumbling little nonsensical phrases like he usually did, though. Just his wheezy little almost-snore - which, if it came right down to it, made me feel a little better. I carefully checked his vitals out of habit. He’d always been a pretty heavy sleeper, at least in my experience, so I didn’t have much trouble. Satisfied for the moment, but still wondering why nobody tried to kick me out after visiting hours, I went downstairs to get a coffee.

 

The janitor was waiting for me holding what appeared to be a steaming cup of my usual. He held it out to me, grinning. Some kind of peace offering? I crossed my arms and squinted at him.

 

“Exactly what the hell are you trying to do, Jumpsuit?” Reevaluating, I grabbed the coffee and started on my return route. No need to waste my time.

 

“Hey - come on!” he called after me. He eventually matched my pace. “It wasn’t supposed to turn out like that. Bumps and bruises, maybe a broken bone, but head injuries are not my thing. And memory loss is just no fun. I save that for the rabbits. They get so confused…” He held up his hands like people do for shadow puppets, which were obviously supposed to be some demented representation of injured rabbits. I rolled my eyes, slapped his hands away, and began walking faster.

 

“Let me get this straight. You could’ve killed my- You could’ve killed Newbie. And then you buy me a freakin’ _coffee?_ Yeah, I’m sure caffeine will bring back the past five years. You could’ve been a doctor.”

 

I didn’t bother with any more. Thankfully, I’d reached JD’s room. I slammed the door behind me and took a sip of the coffee. Too hot.

 

“Dr. Cox?” a groggy JD asked from the bed. Great, you woke him up. Be a worse significant other, why don’t you.

 

“Hey, J-Jamie,” Nice save. “How’s the head? Might feel a little odd, as there’s no gel in it, but I think you’ll survive.”

 

“Fine. Hurts a little,” he replied. “Why do you keep doing that? Acting like you’re happy to see me but then it’s like you change your mind.”

 

I forced a laugh. “Imagination on point as always, Princess. Uh, I’ve got patients to take care of-”

 

“No, you don’t. You talked to Carla yesterday, you said you were taking time off. Is it because I got hurt?” he asked hopefully.

 

I might have put on a big show about all the things I disliked less than him, but I didn’t have the energy for five-years-ago-scary-mentor-Dr.-Cox. “No,” I said simply. “Get some sleep.”

 

“I just woke up,” he complained, but he fluffed his pillow and closed his eyes obediently. I started on the morning newspaper, and Carla came in with Gandhi, who had their baby strapped to his back, about 20 minutes later.

 

I glared silently at them, and their eyes simultaneously passed over JD’s sleeping form. I crossed the room to where they were standing in two long strides.

 

“I checked over everything,” I hissed. “What do you want?”

 

“We, uh-” Gandhi glanced at Carla.

 

“We thought we should talk to JD more about his memories. He still doesn’t know about Izzy, and you still need to tell him about… you know,” Carla continued.

 

I took a moment just to look at her, to see if she would figure out the flaw in her plan all by herself. Ten seconds passed and she just looked at me confusedly. Oookay.

 

“See, there’s a slight problem with _me_ telling him that,” I said slowly in a high-pitched voice, as if I was speaking to a small child. “This is the man who called him by girls’ names multiple times a day. This is the man who invited him into hugs only to pull away at the last second. Get the picture? I know he worshipped the ground I walked on - still does, as a matter of fact - but the point is _he would never believe me_. And that would just mean it’d take wa-ha-hay longer for things to get back to normal for him.”

 

“Who’s Izzy?” a suspiciously perky voice asked. “And what won’t I believe?”

 

Carla took the baby off of Gandhi’s back. “She’s our baby, Bambi. She’s just a few months old.” She carried Izzy over to JD, who looked to be on the verge of tears.

 

“A baby,” he whispered, taking her into his arms. I took the moment as an opportunity to get out - to plan how to tell him about our almost-two years together. I left the door cracked open and leaned against the wall. I was just about to grab another coffee when I heard JD speak an actual sentence, not just cooing at the infant.

 

“What were you and Dr. Cox talking about?”

 

I crossed my arms nervously. If they answered, the way they phrased their reply could change everything.

 

“You excited to go home soon? All you really need is to rest up and wait for your memories to come back...” Gandhi asked in an awkward attempt to change the subject.

 

“Yeah. Sure.” JD answered flatly.

 

Carla sighed and whispered something unintelligible to her husband. “Well, you won’t be coming back to our apartment… you’re, uh, living with someone. Been with them for two years, moved in after six months.”

 

“Elliot?” he asked hopefully. Damn that Barbie. I peered through the crack between the wall and the door - I could just barely see the three of them. Carla nudged Gandhi forward.

 

He laughed. “No, not Elliot. You’re never gonna believe this, man. But you know how we promised we’d never lie if one of us got amnesia, unless it was a really bad ending to a TV show?”

 

Carla and I rolled our eyes, and JD nodded seriously.

 

“All right. Well, Vanilla Bear, you’re kinda dating Dr. Cox.”

 

JD’s face morphed into shock, and stayed that way for a full minute. I was ready to rush in there, damn all logic, but he finally said something.

 

“I’m gay?” he asked neutrally.

 

Carla laughed. “Bisexual. At least that’s what you told us.”

 

“What happened to Jordan? Does he let me call him Perry? Did I bring Rowdy to his apartment? Is it weird because we work together?” His excitement grew with each question. Damn, the kid liked me more than I thought.

 

“Well, you could just ask him yourself. I think he’s listening outside the door… Oh, there he is! He was peeking through the crack - I’ll go get him-” Carla said.

 

“God damn it, Carla,” I growled. “Can’t I get a moment’s peace to spy on you people?” I let her drag me into the room, but I wasn’t prepared for JD looking at me like I was a god. Oddly reminiscent of the first time we had sex. Carla took the baby from him, telling Gandhi to go give her a bottle

 

“So you’re my boyfriend,” JD said happily. I groaned.

 

“Technically, I did promise while you were unconscious that you could use that terminology. But I am _nawt_ happy about it.”

 

“Kiss me,” he blurted. Carla giggled.

 

“What?” Like I was going to kiss him like this. With him in a hospital bed and one of the building’s most active gossipers in the room.

 

“I don’t think you’d kiss me if you were lying, Dr. Cox.”

 

Well… it might be nice to hear my first name again. If a kiss was all it took.

 

I obliged him with a believable, yet not too intense, kiss. “Gonna wake up then, Sleeping Beauty?” I asked quietly.

 

JD brought a finger to his lips. “I thought… maybe you _were_ lying… I thought maybe I’d just get a kiss out of it… but you’re telling the truth, aren’t you?”

 

I looked behind me for support, only to find that Carla was gone. Damn it, how did she do that?

 

“Yeah. I, uh-” I cleared my throat. “I love you. If that’s what you’re looking for.”

 

He smiled wide. “I think I loved you from the day we met - no, that’s too cheesy, you don’t like that…”

 

“I’ve been hearing that kind of thing for almost two years now, Newbie. I’ve learned to appreciate it.” I sat next to him on the bed, draping an arm over his pillow.

 

“Funny,” he said wistfully. “I dreamed about getting into your place for so long, and now I guess I live there.”

 

“Honestly, I’m still shocked that hardly anything is pink,” I murmured. “Not a whole lot has changed but my DVD collection and the number of hair products in the bathroom.”

 

“I’m really happy, you know. In case you were worried about me freaking out,” he piped up.

 

“Yeah, I got that. Really, though, you should sleep, since apparently you were eavesdropping before.”

 

“Will you stay?”

 

I pulled the chair up closer to the bed, and after a moment of consideration, took his hand.

 

“Yeah, I’ll stay.”

  
“Good,” he yawned. I rubbed my thumb back and forth over his hand. Something I’d seen other couples do but I never understood until then. The constant reminder of his existence was comforting. Even if it was only his hand. For the moment, it was good enough for me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took forever i’m a terrible person i’m sorry

I guzzled my third cup of coffee, watching Newbie carefully. His first outing since the accident, to the coffee shop in the hospital, was really going well. Physically, at least. Kid was beating himself up for not remembering things like my favorite color. That’s the kind of thing he cares about, I know, but Jesus, he’s got amnesia and he only found out about - us - yesterday!

 

“You know, maybe you should go back to the room, get some sleep, I’ve got forms to fill out for you…” I muttered.

 

“Dr. Cox,” he whined. “I’ve been sleeping nonstop. I’m not tired. I had to convince you to let me wear normal clothes just for this. I want to talk to you. Please?”

 

I leaned back. “All right,” I allowed. “What do you want to talk about, then?”

 

“ _Us_ ,” he gushed.

 

I groaned and flicked a sugar packet at him. “I can wheel you right on back to bed, you know.”

 

“Fine, fine, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, holding back giggles. “I just want to know how it happened. I thought you hated me.”

 

“So did I, but frankly, you’re too talented with your mouth for your own good.”

 

I smirked, watching him go through a fantasy to try to figure out what exactly I meant by that. When his eyes refocused, I jumped into the story, not taking the time to listen to whatever he’d blurt out. It was an interesting one, really, to say the least.

 

_“Damn it, Gina!”_

 

_“I-I’m sorry-”_

 

_“You know, my condition for letting you come to that little get-together is that you would **nawt**  talk to me unless it is an **emergency**. Is **coffee** an emergency?” I asked threateningly._

 

_“Well, you seemed pretty upset when they got it wrong last week, so…” JD answered quietly._

 

_Damn. Thoughtful little ass._

 

_I grabbed the coffee and stared him down. “All right, fine. Just… stop, Suzanna.”_

 

_He made that little sign, like he was zipping his lips. Gandhi called from down the hallway, holding a huge white coat and stethosco - oh, please don’t tell me they’re doing the tall doctor thing again-_

 

“Wait, I made you coffee?” JD asked excitedly. “And you took it?”

 

“Well, I wasn’t about to turn down a free cup, Newbie.” He just grinned, all satisfied. “Okay, where was I…”

 

_“Dr. Cox?” a voice asked from behind me._

 

_I whipped around, faster than I meant to. Carla was standing there with a weird look that somehow managed to be confused and smug at the same time. She pointed to my face questioningly._

 

_“What?” I snapped._

 

_Carla put her hands up in surrender. “You’re… making a weird face, that’s all.”_

 

_“I’m making no face. This is my face.”_

 

_She shrugged. “You’ve been making that face a lot lately… mostly around Bambi.”_

 

_I glared at her. “That is what you call complete and total irritation.”_

 

_Carla just gave me what you might call a “knowing smile” and walked off with a chart._

 

_Does that woman think she knows everything? It’d been weeks or more since I’d felt any real annoyance toward the kid. But she was acting like I was in love with him or something. God._

 

“But you were. Right?”

 

“JD,” I said scoldingly.

 

His eyes lit up at the use of his real name. “Yeah. Sorry. But can you skip to the party?”

 

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, sure. That party, you begged me for weeks to be invited. I said you could come as long as you didn’t talk to me for a week. It was just a stupid I’m-divorced-let’s-party party, but you wanted to come anyway, God knows why. I guess I’ll start with when you showed up.” I took a breath. “Everyone else had actually canceled. You were the only one who came. Later, you told me you convinced them not to come, to force us together. And I was an idiot and fell for it.”

 

He laughed. “I can’t believe I would do that.”

 

“I gave you shitty patients for a week after I found out. Anyway, there’s not really much to tell about the party. You sat across the room pretending not to stare at me - I noticed - and I sat on the couch pretending to watch TV. We got drunk and had really awkward sex. The next morning, you got up and brushed your teeth with my extra toothbrush and made yourself chocolate-chip pancakes like you’d been living with me all your life,” I smiled a little at the memory and took a quick gulp of coffee.

 

JD stared at the table, looking guilty. Shit.

 

“What? JD, come on, it’s okay you don’t remember. At least you know who I am, right? You could’ve completely forgotten the entire hospital’s existence, and then we’d really be in trouble.”

 

He just looked up at me. With those stupid big, shiny eyes. “How could I not remember that? That’s so… perfect.”

 

I got up and walked behind him, grabbing his wheelchair handles. “You need to feel better. We’re going to go make out in a supply closet.”

 

He twisted around to look at me incredulously. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I’m in a wheelchair anyway.”

 

“We’ll make it work,” I grunted. “And who’s the doctor here?”

 

“You are,” he relented. We reached the closet I had in mind; this one was bigger than the rest, and had a nice, shelfless wall to press someone against. Not that I’d planned this out. I thanked my sister’s God that the hallway was empty, and I pulled Newbie out of his chair and set him on an empty shelf inside. I locked the door and stuck a few dollar bills in it - classic hospital code, whoever has to go to a less convenient closet gets to take a little cash.

 

I turned around to face JD. “See, your basic problem is that this doesn’t feel real to you, am I right?”

 

He quickly shook his head, looked sideways, and then nodded slowly.

 

“Right. So, we’re going to make out in a supply closet. You always liked it in our first few months, when we were hiding from everyone.”

 

JD just nodded again.

 

“You know, if you’re uncomfortable, you can just go right ahead and say so,” I sighed. He shook his head and tentatively wrapped his arms behind my neck. I gently guided his legs around my waist, so I was supporting him. He leaned into me, and I had to fight the urge to, well, just rip his clothes off. But this was for him.

 

“Ready?” I murmured. He just smiled a little bit and touched his lips against mine very lightly. A few seconds ticked by and I applied a bit more pressure; I was rewarded with his familiar squeak. Good thing I was used to taking the lead. I slowly walked him over to the wall, running my hands through his hair. I liked it much better like that - no gel. He was getting a little braver now, pushing back with an open mouth. I grinned.

 

“You know, you still kiss exactly the same, if that makes you feel better,” I pointed out. JD chuckled and looked at me seriously after a moment.

 

“Really, Dr. C - Perry - thank you for, you know, taking care of me. I’m sure it must be… weird.” He smiled nervously.

 

“Actually, you get to come home soon. Tomorrow, if everything goes well. You injuries really weren’t too bad, just your head. And since you’re gonna have doctors taking care of you, uh, wherever you decide to go, you get to leave a little early.”

 

“What do you mean, ‘wherever I decide to go?’ I wanna go home with you.”

 

I grinned a lot wider than I meant to. “I just didn’t want to pressure you. But of course you can come home, if you want.”

 

“Great, I can finally be inside your apartment!” he said excitedly. “But, I actually think I do want to get some sleep now, though.”

 

I nodded and opened the door. The cash was gone. I pulled the wheelchair just inside the closet and carefully placed Newbie into it. After I checked to see if anyone was watching, I started wheeling him back to the room.

 

“You know, I haven’t told you yet. A little before Jordan and I split up last, we, uh, had a baby. Jack. He really misses you, Jordan said. He even calls you Daddy sometimes.”

 

“Everyone’s having babies!” he exclaimed. “All right, let’s get me home.”

  
When we reached his room, I helped him into the bed. “Okay, I really do have some forms to fill out for you,” I told him. “But just give me a page if you need anything.” I handed him his pager and kissed him goodbye. His eyes were drooping already, but his smile was huge. Jesus, and here I thought I’d have to make him fall in love with me again.


	5. Chapter 5

Click, click, click. Click, click. Click, click, click, click.

 

I cracked an eyelid open. Who the hell would wear heels to the hospital but Barbie?

 

“You’re gonna wake him up,” I whined. She just rolled her eyes and put his chart back.

 

“He has to go home in an hour,” she replied. “He should be up already, actually.” She poked his cheek a couple times to no avail.

 

“And that is the official procedure for waking a head injury patient, Barbie?” I swatted her finger away and replaced it with my hand, sort of cradling his face. I jerked my arm back and glared.

 

“If you want to kiss him awake like Snow White, be my guest. Just have him ready to go by ten, _Per-Bear_.”

 

I glared until she skittered out of the room. She likes to think she’s not scared of me anymore; luckily, I know otherwise. I glanced back at JD, who was stirring a little but not waking up.

 

“JD. Rise and shine. C’mon, we’re going home today.” He rolled over, muttering in a weird high-pitched voice. At least that was normal.

 

I groaned and poked his cheek. His eyes snapped open and he looked at me confusedly before relaxing.

 

“‘M goin’ home t’day, right?” he asked tiredly.

 

“Yep. Got almost an hour to pack all your belongings.” I gestured to the mostly empty room. He just half-smiled.

 

“I’m gonna get there… and I won’t remember… you’re gonna have to tell me where the bathroom is in my own home.” He clutched his blanket tightly and looked down. “Are you sure it won’t be too much of a burden?”

 

I think what happened to me right then might be called, uh, heart melting. I leaned over his bed and put one hand on either side of his face.

 

“JD?” He looked at me expectantly. “Do you _know_ how high-maintenance you are? I’m fairly certain that the coming weeks will be no different than the last few, Newbie. You just won’t know what’s happened in all your favorite stupid TV shows.”

 

“High… high-maintenance?” he asked slowly, eyes wide. “Do you mean I annoy you?”

 

Oh, Jesus. “You’re fine, kid. Let’s get you in a wheelchair so you can get out of this dump.” I carefully slid him off the bed and into the chair. He was practically bouncing despite the broken rib.

 

“My legs are fine,” JD complained. “Just my sprained wrist, and my rib, and my head, and my other arm is all bruised too, actually - but I can walk!”

 

“You know as well as I do that the chair is hospital procedure, Princess. Personally, I’d love to see you try to walk after suffering a serious head injury and being in a coma for nearly four days. But, you know, procedure.”

 

He pouted, silently yet unrelentingly, until we got to the front desk. Carla, Gandhi, and Barbie were there to see JD off. I shuffled through some papers on the desk until I found the ones JD still needed to sign. Underneath them were several insurance forms. That I’d forgotten to fill out for him. Probably - let’s see - about fifteen minutes of my life I’ll never get back. Wonderful.

 

I handed JD his documents and a pen. He signed them with the flourish I expected and handed them back to Carla.

 

“Say, Gandhi, could you get JD set up in the Porsche? I’ve got some more bureaucracy to get through here.” I tossed the keys to him. Definitely not irritated at all that he caught them easily.

 

“Sure thing, Dr. Cox. Oh, that’s right, JD. Your brother called, he’s coming down.”

 

I groaned. “See, if you’d never told him, we wouldn’t have this situation right now, would we? I’m guessing he’s invited himself to stay on _our_ couch?”

 

“Yes, he did.” Carla grinned. “And he asked us to say hi to ‘Coxie’ for him.”

 

“Uh-huh,” I replied, resolving to make her murder look like a suicide.

 

Gandhi grabbed JD’s wheelchair and took him outside at a speed I didn’t want to think about. Barbie went after them, babbling about several unimportant things she wanted JD to remember. Carla turned to follow them, but snapped back at my hand where it held her collar.

 

“Carla,” I said nicely. “Don’t you think it’s unnecessary to have Dan visit?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “You can deal, Dr. Cox. It’s just a couple of days.”

 

“Yeah. A nice family reunion, right?” I said, still smiling.

 

“Sure,” Carla replied, confusion sweeping over her face.

 

Sighing, I dropped the facade. “Don’t you think having his brother there will make him wonder where his dad is?” I asked quietly.

 

“Oh no,” Carla said. “But he’s going to have to find out eventually, right?”

 

I put one last initial into the insurance form. That didn’t take as long as I thought. “Well there, Carla-roo, there is an 80% chance that at least most of his memories will return in a month or two. Maybe with big events coming even before then. Now, I really don’t see why we’d need to put him through that, huh? Or any of the other unpleasant things that happened during his blank space?”

 

“Maybe you’re right,” Carla relented. “But if you lie to him, he won’t be happy. Especially if certain memories don’t come back, and you do have to tell him.”

 

“See, I’m counting on that not happening. I’m being an optimist. It’s this new thing I’m trying.” I shoved the forms in a basket on the desk and turned around to Carla smiling. All cutesy-like.

 

“You know, it’s still adorable to see you doing nice things for Bambi.”

 

I gave her the best glare I could muster. “Too bad you won’t live to see any more.”

 

Carla just tilted her head. “That’s my Perry.”

 

I grimaced. “Yes, yes. Now, could you be a dear and tell Kelso that Newbie and I are going to be taking some time off?”

 

“You didn’t even tell him?” Carla asked incredulously.

 

“Hell no,” I laughed. “I’m not gonna face that fury.”

 

Carla huffed. “Fine. But only because you've been through _emotional trauma_ ,” she taunted, stretching out the last few words. Damn that woman knowing how much I hate feelings-talk.

 

I left her at the mercy of Kelso, who happened to be walking past the gift shop at that very moment. I scooted out the door, just barely avoiding an extremely unpleasant situation. I blinked at the sun and promptly realized I hadn't been outside at all since the accident. Barbie and Gandhi waved from where they sat on the hood of my car as I walked across the parking lot.

 

“You have five seconds to get off, so help me God,” I ordered. They slid to the ground obediently.

 

“Man, JD,” Gandhi muttered through the open passenger window. “How many times I gotta tell you your boyfriend is scary as hell?”

 

“A lot of times, I guess. I don’t remember any of them, so you’ll have to voice all of your objections again,” he replied. His eyes unfocused slightly and I tried to guess what the fantasy was, like I usually did. Probably some kind of comment box thing. I took the opportunity to shoo my unwelcome passengers. By the time he came back, I was in the driver’s seat.

 

“Ready to go home, Princess?” I asked.

 

“You ditched the girls’ names,” he observed. “Except ‘princess.’”

 

“That was our deal,” I told him. “I traded the various girls’ names for one permanent girl-related name.”

 

“That doesn't seem like a very fair trade on your end.”

 

“It was getting old anyway,” I lied. “I figured if I was gonna have a boyfriend, I should probably act like it.”

 

“Mm,” he agreed. “Did people tease you?”

 

I rolled my eyes. “You, definitely. You didn’t mind much. But me? One intern tried and that was it.”

 

“Did I meet him since I lost my memory?” he asked.

 

“He decided that he no longer wished to be employed by Sacred Heart Hospital.”

 

“Of course he did.”

 

“So, should we get going?” I asked. “We really should get you back in a bed.”

  
“Yeah,” he replied. “Let’s go home.”


	6. Chapter 6

He was sitting at the kitchen counter, despite me telling him to rest. He just insisted he was fine and that he didn’t want to be away from me - for even the short amount of time it would take to make his pancakes. I must have missed him more than I thought, because I agreed.

He’d been pretty… bouncy in the car, asking me a bunch of questions about the hospital staff, pop culture, and the small bits of politics he prided himself in knowing. Even after being with him for so long, I still surprised myself with how little I got annoyed with him. Most of his questions were easily answered and I found myself being glad to do so. It was only after I told him the gory details of my relationship with Jordan that he clammed up - I’d been doing so much storytelling that I got a little absorbed. I must admit, though, I was a little surprised at how flustered he seemed, and more so at how much he was trying to hide it. He hardly flinched when I talked about that Plomox woman, and he only tried to hide his emotions when he was really upset. Hence the extra chocolate chips in the pancakes.

“You should probably tell your brother to be a little less vague,” I said, breaking the silence. “I asked him when he’d get here and he gave me a range of an hour from now to tomorrow night.”

JD laughed a little. “Yeah, he’s like that. I don’t think I can do anything about it, sorry.”

I finished off the pancakes and sat across from him with the plate. We’d sat in these spots a hundred times, but this time I wasn’t sure what to say. At least I could put “good appetite” in his report, from the way he was gobbling his breakfast.

We read the paper and finished the pancakes in a silence that had been comfortable every other morning. Well, every morning after that first day. It was just like that, except our roles were reversed - I was the one who was cooking nervously. I made the first move again, though.

“I know you’re upset about something,” I said as calmly as I could.

He cracked a smile. “I’ve got major injuries, including head trauma. Could you be more specific?”

I gave him a quick grin, but I don’t think it was much of one. “Look, I know you’re, well, confused, and uncomfortable, and if you don’t know what to say or something, I understand. I’m just… concerned.”

“No, no, don’t worry. I’m fine,” he said in a tone that convinced me he was not, in fact, fine. “You know what, maybe I am a little tired. I think I will take a nap.”

I hesitated, then nodded. “The, uh, bedroom’s over-”

“I’ll find it,” he interrupted. Great. I definitely fucked up, somehow.

After making sure he was safely in bed, I stepped outside to call my best translator.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end said.

“Carla. I need help.”

She laughed. “What is it? He can’t remember his favorite Disney princess?”

I rolled my eyes. “I think I said something wrong. Or did something. I don’t know. He’s acting really weird, and not a normal weird.”

“When did it start?” she inquired. “What were you talking about?”

“Well, actually, it was when I was telling him how it went down with me and Jordan. I guess I went a little overboard on the details by accident. That’s what I thought it was at first, but now I’m not sure. His reaction seems a little disproportionate to a breakup story.”

“Hmm,” she replied. “So you were talking about your relationship? Jack?”

“Yeah, and I told him about how it was we turned out to be still married. I thought he’d think it was funny.”

She was silent for a few seconds. “What did you say to him about that? When you first got together, I mean.”

“I don’t know, I don’t think we ever really talked about it. Why?”

“So he’s probably thinking about his future right now just as much as his past. You being turned off by the concept of ‘forever’ probably isn’t the best story to tell. We both know he’s the marrying type.”

Shit. “Oh. I can’t believe I didn’t think about that.” I paused. “I have thought about it, Carla. You, of all people… you know I’ve thought real hard. But I don’t want that to happen again. It can’t. If I got married again, I don’t know what I would do. I’ve been trying so hard to not screw things up for myself here.”

“You’re different this time, Perry. Your relationship is different, too. You should talk to him. Didn’t you ever discuss this?”

“No,” I admitted. “This is the exact conversation I wanted to avoid. And he never brought it up.”

“Talk to him,” Carla repeated. “Knowing him, he’s probably spiraling into insecurity right now.”

“Thanks.” I hung up the phone before she could start giving any orders that were unreasonable. I turned around only to see JD duck behind the slightly open door.

“All right, back to bed. Or the couch. Any slightly horizontal position,” I insisted. He looked at me sheepishly and elected to head towards the sofa, with me following close behind. He laid down obediently and I sat, pulling his feet onto my lap.

“Out with it.”

He glanced at me nervously. “You don’t want to get married.”

I sighed. “Never said that.”

“Well, forgive me if I thought otherwise,” he grumbled.

“My relationship with Jordan was doomed from the beginning, especially the second time. We were just too alike. The… sudden added pressure was the final blow.” I pressed my lips together. “I’m just worried I’m gonna want to run away again. That’s all.”

He cocked his head. “Did you ever say that before?”

“I don’t know, maybe?”

“It sounded familiar. Like deja vu,” he said curiously.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the slamming door.

“Hey, little brother! Hey, Coxie! You taking care of him good enough there?”

JD’s smile faltered after looking at his brother for a few seconds. “What happened? Something bad happened. I think…” He squeezed his eyes shut and popped them open. “Something bad. I can’t remember.”

Dan opened his mouth and snapped it shut. “How much do you not remember again?”

“About five years, I think.”

Dan opened and closed his mouth again, looking at me with panicked eyes.

Wonderful.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The excerpt is from my oneshot in this 'verse, My Morning After.

Elliot looked beautiful as she walked down the aisle. Her long white dress suited her perfectly - I was so glad she hadn’t let me see it - and Carla’d done a dynamite job on her hair. We were both grinning when she reached me and I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was as we said our vows.

 

I lifted her veil to kiss her, only to find Dr. Cox’s murderous expression underneath.

 

I screamed and jumped back - Carla and Turk caught me. They looked at me confusedly, saying something, but all I could hear was “remember.”

 

Remember, remember, remember.

 

The walls melted away and the room changed - I was sitting in front of the wedding cake with an empty chair by my side. Only it didn’t look like a wedding cake; it was small and chocolate. Everyone I knew was there, except my dad. I asked the cake where he was and it told me he was on a business trip. A business trip, on my wedding day? Well, you can’t trust cakes, really.

 

Then the empty chair started talking.

 

“Why did you make me do this, JD?” it asked. “I never wanted this. I never wanted you.”

 

“I don’t know,” I responded. “You’re a chair.”

 

“Why did you make me do this?” it repeated. Its expression was downright resentful. For a chair.

 

“I’m sorry,” I tried to say, but my voice sounded far away. The cake started speaking again, but I couldn’t hear what it was telling me. If I could just reach out… and grab it…

 

My eyes opened slowly. That was the third time I’d had that nightmare.

 

The cake was new.

 

Dan and Dr. Cox said it would be best if they didn’t tell me that… bad thing… I couldn’t remember, so I wouldn’t get unnecessarily upset. They were right, of course. But it was killing me.

 

I rolled over to face the other side of the bed. It was completely unruffled because Dr. Cox said he felt like he’d be taking advantage of me. Even after I insisted it was okay, and it was only sleeping, after all. I knew he was only trying to be thoughtful, but when I went to bed alone I couldn’t help feeling like… never mind.

 

I sat up slowly, trying not to jostle my injuries too much. I was about to call out to Dr. Cox for help getting dressed when I heard the murmuring outside the door. I tiptoed to the door, hoping for some answers.

 

“...damn lucky, really,” Dr. Cox was saying. “Believe me, what he’s got is a relief after seeing all the blood.”

 

“Pretty bad, huh?” Dan answered, sounding more serious than I’d ever heard him.

 

“Gotta be honest with ya, Danny, it scared the shit out of me.” A cupboard opened and closed, then a drawer.

 

Dan chuckled. “Johnny does like his pancakes.”

 

Dr. Cox must’ve been getting out pancake mix. Aww.

 

Dan started talking again. “Really, when Christopher called, my first thought was that you lovebirds were getting hitched. But I knew it couldn’t be, ‘cause you never asked my permission.”

 

Dr. Cox scoffed. “If I wasn’t busy with your brother’s breakfast, you might be running for your life, kid.”

 

“Aw, I’m just joshin’ ya. About the permission, anyway.”

 

A low sizzle started to block the conversation and I could barely hear Dr. Cox’s response.

 

“Could you just… mentioning that… pretty sensitive right now… screw things up… soon, hopefully.”

 

Soon! What?

 

“Well, Coxie, you old sap!” Dan could always be counted on for a loud voice. And if I couldn’t hear Dr. Cox talking, at least I could definitely hear him shushing. Any intern could recognize that shush from a mile away.

 

Figuring I couldn’t get much else out of eavesdropping, I opened the door. Dr. Cox turned from the stove and grinned like he’d just won a million dollars.

 

“Hey, you’re up!” Dan exclaimed. “Thought you’d be married to that bed by now.” Dr. Cox glared at him and I choked down a giggle.

 

“Got some pancakes almost ready for you, Princess,” Dr. Cox informed me. “How’s the brain?”

 

I shrugged. “Things look a little more familiar now, but that might just be from… existing.”

 

He nodded. “Did you have a nightmare or something? You kept saying ‘remember’ in your sleep, I could hear it from out here.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” I said nonchalantly. “Just a weird dream. I’ve had it a couple times. Carla and Turk kept chanting it at me.” I purposely left out the wedding part.

 

“You okay?” he asked worriedly.

 

“Jeez, you’d think the kid can’t take care of himself,” Dan interjected. Dr. Cox just rolled his eyes and tried to act gruff. He was really softened up.

 

He flipped a finished pancake onto a plate and handed it to me with a fork. I went to sit at the counter to eat while Dr. Cox and Dan talked about something inconsequential. Dr. Cox kept flicking his eyes at me, but didn’t say anything. I must usually be more talkative during breakfast. When I finished, I got up to put my plate in the sink.

 

“Hey, could you put this over there, too?” Dr. Cox asked, handing me a battered-looking frying pan. I put the plate down and took the pan from him by the cracked rubber handle. What I felt when I grabbed it was like an electric shock.

 

_Dr. Cox was standing there, staring at me. I couldn't decipher his poker face. Couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't tear my eyes from his because I knew somehow that this was not a staring contest I could lose. It must have been for thirty seconds that we stood there, mentally daring each other to make the first move. I knew my pancake was cooking too long, but I was still frozen. Finally he cleared his throat._

_"Say, Newbie, I think you're burning there," he said without a hint of emotion._

 

The clang as the pan hit the floor was my only indication that I’d dropped it.

 

I barely registered that fact, only able to stare ahead. That one detail from that one morning, after we - what was it? Slept together for the first time, right - that detail kept opening more doors. It didn’t all come flooding back like in the movies, more like a trickle. I could remember our first date, sneaking around, him making fun of my “catsuit,” but not the movie we saw. I could remember writing in my diary about our first “I love you”s but I couldn’t recall the actual event.

 

It was enough, though.

 

In the time it took to process that, Perry had crouched down to pick up the pan and was right in front of me. Looking at me, alarmed. Him opening his mouth to speak was all it took to snap me out of it.

 

“I remember,” I breathed. “Not everything. Just some stuff. But that’s good, right?”

 

A blizzard of emotions went across his face - relief, shock, happiness, love - and finally he just grinned at me.

 

“Of course that’s good, Newbie. Jesus, it’s like you didn’t go through med school at all.”

 

I laced my fingers together behind his neck and tentatively pressed my lips to his. I could tell he was holding back, but I didn’t care. It was exactly how I’d imagined it. My new memories hadn’t done him justice, and this was a million times more real than our supply closet incident.

 

I pulled away and opened my eyes. Perry smiled softly at me - I’d had no idea how much I’d missed that - and I suddenly remembered Dan. I turned my head to his seat, but he was gone. Thank God he picked now to learn some tact. Not like when he just showed up at my door to tell me about Dad -

  
Oh.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally finished, an incredibly lazy three or so years in the making. Thanks to everyone who begged me to update, you're the best.

It had been three hours. I glanced at the clock again, somehow expecting time to move faster, or slower, or  _ something _ . But the minutes kept ticking away, 60 seconds exactly. Three hours seemed about right. Then again, time had felt strangely normal since I woke up.

 

“You sure I can’t get you anything?” Perry asked hesitantly. It was almost funny, watching him awkwardly trying to find some middle ground.

 

I glanced over at him, reveling in the now-familiar sense of affection, and shook my head. “I’m fine,” I said with a shrug. “This already happened, remember?”

 

Perry’s expression couldn’t have been more skeptical, but he let it drop. The truth was, I did feel relatively fine. Especially since Perry had forced Dan into a fairly nice motel with his own credit card. He could only take so much of my brother, a fact for which I was grateful.

 

I looked down in my lap, suddenly feeling uneasy. Before I remembered anything, all I wanted was to get him alone, but I almost felt worse than before. Only being able to remember bits and pieces - something, but never quite enough - was torture. They say silver medalists aren’t as happy as you’d think, because of the frustration of being just  _ that _ close to perfection. I was too tired to get carried away with the metaphor.

 

“Turk,” I finally said, still looking down. “I have to - to call him or something.”

 

I could see Perry nod out of the corner of my eye. “Right, sure,” he responded, doing an impressive job of hiding his concern.

 

I pulled out my phone and quickly scrolled to Turk’s contact. My fingers drummed on my knee in anticipation - needlessly, since it went straight to voicemail. I rolled my eyes as I sat through his enthusiastic message.

 

“Hey, Turk. I, uh, remembered some stuff. Which is good. Obviously. Not everything, but, you know, some. I just wanted to tell you. You’re probably in surgery, so… call me back.”

 

I stared dejectedly at my phone as I hung up. Perry continued to watch me.

 

“JD,” he said, almost begging as he moved closer to me. “Give me  _ something _ .”

 

I leaned in to kiss him softly, and he sighed against my lips. “JD,” he repeated, more quietly. “What am I supposed to do here?”

 

I pulled away slightly, watching Perry’s face. “I don’t know,” I admitted. “There’s one thing…”

 

“What?” Perry asked, a little too eagerly.

 

“I was listening,” I confessed. “To you and Dan. In the kitchen. And there was more to the dream than I said.”

 

Perry blinked, trying to process. “How much did you hear?” he asked after a moment.

 

“Not a  _ lot _ ,” I said slowly. “I heard… ‘soon’. That part.”

 

“And the dream?” he continued, watching me carefully.

 

I paused, biting my lip. “It was weird,” I started. “I was getting married - I had the same dream three times. There was this chair next to me, with no one in it, and the chair kept telling me… it didn’t want me.”

 

Perry brought a hand to my face, and I closed my eyes under his impossibly light touch. “It’s that important to you?” he murmured.

 

“Only if it’s important to you,” I said, a little desperate. “The chair was mad at me. It doesn’t take a genius to see the symbolism. My dreams have always used dramatic devices!”

 

“Sweetheart,” Perry chuckled, “I’m not a piece of furniture.”

 

“The furniture  _ represents _ you,” I grumbled. “Did you take any English classes in high sch-”

 

The words left my mouth as Perry dragged me in again, kissing me more deeply than he had since… well, I couldn’t really remember, could I? I let out a gasp just before he pulled his lips from mine.

 

“I want you,” he said firmly. “You can be damn sure that if I’m at a wedding, especially my own, it’s because I want to be there.”

 

“Perry…” I said softly, “if you’re going to say something,  _ please _ say it.”

 

He rolled his eyes as he stood, pulling me to my feet as well. I watched him confusedly as he brought me to the bedroom, but I began to understand when he started digging in the sock drawer.

 

“Thought I’d be prepared,” he said with the smallest hint of a blush on his face as he produced a ring box. My jaw dropped when he opened it; maybe I was biased, but it was the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’d ever seen.

 

“You have to ask,” I insisted, my eyes flickering between the ring and his face. “You can’t just give me something shiny - oh, wow, the light makes nice reflections, though…”

 

Perry chuckled and got to one knee with only a little difficulty. “John Dorian, will you marry me?”

 

It was simple, not something I would have planned, but I didn’t care in the least. I nodded quickly, and my arms were around him the very moment he finished sliding the ring on my finger. A perfect fit, of course - I didn’t know how he could have possibly guessed my size.

  
He started kissing me again, running his hands through my hair. I quickly started to lose myself in what was becoming increasingly familiar. He was pushing me ever-so-gently towards the bed -  _ our _ bed - but it was with an insistence I’d missed. I heard Turk’s ringtone faintly from the living room, but I didn’t even flinch. Everything else could wait.


End file.
